Some days I can't see the point of being alive: Nikki Tamboli feels 'dark pit of sadness' after brother's death

New Delhi: Bigg Boss 14 fame Nikki Tamboli has been quite broken up about her brother's demise due to COVID-19. She recently took to Instagram to pen a long, emotional note describing the emotional pain she has been enduring. 

In her post, Tamboli spoke in length about her state of mind after losing her brother and said that she sobs herself to sleep every night. The actress also revealed that she doesn't feel strong and expresses that 'each day is difficult to live'. 

She wrote, "I miss my brother so much and I am sobbing myself to sleep almost every night. Few people whom I know tell me that it was his time to go and I should be glad he's not in emotional pain anymore and not sick anymore and that I have to let him go but my mind doesn't want to accept that. I just want to be able to talk to my brother and when I say this to my friends they say me that I still can, but it's not the same... They are just not understanding or listening to how I am feeling."

She further wrote, "I don't feel strong at all now. I feel like everything is too hard and I just feel each day is difficult to live. I haven't accepted my brother's death. I feel such a deep, dark pit of sadness has overcome my whole being and I am totally drowning in it."

Nikki also goes on to say that some days, she can't see the point in living. "Some days, like today, I just can't see the point of me being alive or any reason for my life to go on. I don't like I can take this intense sadness," she confessed.

Have a look at her emotional note: 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Nikki Tamboli (@nikki_tamboli)

Nikki is currently in Cape Town, South Africa, shooting for the adventure reality show Khatron Ke Khiladi. The actress has been posting Instagram stories from South Africa.

Earlier, the actress also posted a long note on how her family is most important to her and that despite her personal loss, she will be participating in Khatron Ke Khiladi as it is something that her brother really wanted for her.

Nikki’s brother Jatin was diagnosed with COVID-19 and was also infected by tuberculosis and pneumonia.