Breaking the Pattern of People-Pleasing

People-pleasing word is simply created for those who constantly try to make others happy at the cost of their own well being. This behaviour usually stems from a deep seated need for approval and fear of rejection. It may seem very kind and harmless but it leads to exhaustion, resentment and a loss of self-identity.

Breaking a pattern of people-pleasing is very important if we want our personal growth and happiness. Firstly, we have to recognize the signs. Just start noticing yourself. Notice that you want to say ‘no’ on something but you say ‘yes’, just for the sake of avoiding conflicts. Notice, that do you feel anxious when someone is upset with you, even if it is not your fault? Then be aware, these are the signs of people-pleasing.

Once you are aware from these patterns, it is important to understand why you do it. Generally people-pleasers have a fear of being rejected or disliked. They believe that if they are able to make others happy then they will be accepted and loved. However, this is not true. We have to understand this fact that real relationships are built on mutual respect and honesty.

To break this pattern of people-pleasing, start to set boundaries by learning the skill of saying ‘no’. Just say ‘no’ when you don’t like something or want something. It is absolutely ok to put your needs first. And it doesn’t mean that you have to be rude or selfish, it is about being honest toward yourself.

Practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that doing mistake is ok; you don’t have to be perfect all the time just for seeking love. Surround yourself with real and supportive people who know how to respect your boundaries.

These patterns can be breakable but it doesn’t happen overnight, you have to take small steps like, you can say ‘no’ to small requests and gradually build up to bigger ones. You will see with time you will gain confidence and realize that your worth is not tied to making others happy.