Valentine's Day special: How to know if you've found the one, psychologist explains!
Are you confused if you've found the love of your life? A psychologist lists down signs that can help you figure out.
- According to Damini Grover, a counselling psychologist, it is important to notice how we feel with our partner
- A big red flag is when they demean you, don't make time for you or take you for granted
New Delhi: It's Valentine's Day and love is in the air! Yes, relationships are fun and exciting, but they can also get complicated and messy which is why it's important to keep self-reflecting when you are in one or looking for one.
For example, if you are in a relationship, you may have pondered upon its future and if you're single but looking, you may be wondering what person would be right for you.
To answer these pressing questions, we spoke to Damini Grover, a counselling psychologist, life coach & founder I'M Powered-Center for Counseling and Well-being, about how to know if you've found the one and when it's time to take the next step.
How do you know he/she is a keeper?
Damini tells us that we must keep in mind how we feel in a relationship and listen to our feelings. While they may be a good and fun person generally but if you don't get along with them or feel uncomfortable, it isn't healthy to stay in the relationship for the long run, she says.
Another way to know if they're a good match is to observe how they are treating you.
Damini suggests a few questions to ask yourself: Do they make an effort to meet you? Are they emotionally invested? Do they want to be friends with your friends? Do they remember things about you? Do they express small gestures to show they are thinking about you? Do you feel safe and comfortable with this person?
What are the important green flags in a relationship?
Speaking about green flags, Damini explains, "They should understand your emotional needs. If they call you too sensitive or frown upon your emotions, it's a major red flag. On the other hand, a green flag would be if they are able to talk and resolve conflicts, respect your boundaries."
She adds, "They won't push you into things if you're uncomfortable. Apart from how they are treating you, they must show that they are interested in sharing themselves with you."
"Make sure they aren't asking a lot from you and that you aren't in fear of them. Also, steer away from people using you as a rebound," Damini suggests.
What is a big sign they AREN'T the one?
An obvious sign, Damini reveals is if they demean you or even subtly humiliate you in any way.
"If they don't understand your emotional needs, like if you want them to be there if you want them to call you if you want them to meet you often, but they're too busy with other things and they make you feel that you are not the priority for them. Then, clearly, they are not the one for you," she says.
Is there anything that's not noticed usually but is a hugely positive thing in a life partner?
Damini explains the ultimate question to ask yourself which people often miss out: "Are you on the same physical, intellectual financial wavelength or not? And are your life goals aligned or not?"
She adds, "Another important thing to notice is to see whether your partner really has the intent of making a relationship work because relationships don't work by themselves. Both people need to be mindful. They need to be very, very intentional about making it work."
When do you know - it's time to take the next big step?
Wondering if you should take your relationship to the next level? Instead of looking at social standards, Damini advises us to turn that attention inwards and ask ourselves, what is it that I want? Am I happy with my partner? Can I see a future with my partner? Can I at least envision it? Can I put my trust in my partner?
So, the more self-aware you are of your own needs, the easier it will be to figure out whether you were ready to take the next step with this person or not.